Welcome to Ron’s Pawn
Author: Andrew Locke
In 1993, Ron Waters opened, “Ron’s Pawn,” the premier (and only) Pawn Broker in Bethton, Tennessee. Since then, the company has grown to one location and three employees, boasting an average of $38 in profits EVERY SINGLE WEEK.
Ron’s Pawn, located in Bethton, Tennessee. (2005)
Ron Waters, the Pawn Himself
Ron Waters (born October 22nd, 1952), is the coolest person in Bethton, according to the IGA associates (and one manager) at the Southland Dr. location. He enjoys hammocking in the woods, the Grateful Dead, and of course, the finest Cannabis Indica Pawn Shop money can buy.
Ron lives outside of town in a cabin that technically does not have an address. Thom has to constantly watch for booby-traps when coming home from work, but even then, it is not always enough…
Ron took his nephew Thomas in as a baby. Though he is his Uncle, Ron is more of a father to Thom, and naturally, Thom looks up to him.
The Hooligans
“Cung is my favorite, then Matt.” - Ron
Ron may be the uncle of Thom, but his favorite employee is Cung. This is for a completely unknown reason as Cung is chronically late.
He blames it on the “Bungnesia,” but we all know it is the weed.
Bungnam and ‘The War’
Cungulus Bungulus (Born May 30th, 1983), is a Bungulus. A Bungulus is a rapidly evolved species that first appeared on the Island of Bungnam after the Vietnam War. Bungnam, which is a tiny island off the coast of Vietnam, was also subjected to Agent Orange strikes, which inadvertently infected the local wildlife, included the simple Bung. A species of rodent about the size of a Gopher. Bungs evolved to their environment, which was such a dense jungle that the island was uninhabited by humans. They could not reliably rely on sight, so they developed a very unique feature: giant noses built for long-distance sniffing.
This is why their noses are so large, their brains evolved to be closer to the nose as to detect and analyze scents faster.
Agent Orange had a very interesting effect on Bugnam. Not only did it clear out most of the dense jungle (which would later give rise to civilization), but it also forcibly evolved most of the native Bung population into humanoid Bungs called, “Bungulese” (‘Bungulus’ singular).
The Bungulese quickly declared their independence and populated extremely quickly, with Bungs (now a non-offensive slang term for “Bungulese.” Bung is the ethnicity, Bungulese is the nationality) now populating the Earth just as the rest of humanity. This is where our boy Cung comes into the picture.
Cung Bung
Cung is a Water Polo National Champion, but he hates Water Polo People™, so he doesn’t play anymore.
Cungulus is lazy, he can be a slob, and all he does is smoke weed and play video games… but he somehow has the most interesting life of anyone in Bethton.
Seriously! Just follow him around for an hour and see what happens.
Cung loves his dad, Cang (see right). His dad is an entrepreneur worth $1,200,000 legally.
Thomas Waters
When Thom (born December 2nd, 1982) was 7, he told his Uncle Ron that he wanted to be a Billionaire when he grew up. Well… here we are.
It’s not bad though! Thom has it good! A growing cartoon studio with his best friend Cung, a new love interest, a stable job, what more could a 22 year old ask for?
Thom is the only one who can keep Cung sort of sane… or at least out of jail. That, or he goes too.
“Yeah, that’s why there’s only one Moon now!”
Matt (that’s it)
Matt looks like an interesting case. Maybe he is an alien! Maybe he is a deformed human working nights! Maybe he is a—
nope.
Matt’s father was an Irishman, and his mother was purple… or something. Together, they created Matt! A perpetually broke Acid dealer who works 63 jobs in 48 states (he’s banned in the other two), yet still always finds a way to bum weed off of Cung (which Cung is of course happy to oblige).
Matt works the night shift at the shop. So, you do not really see him much day-to-day. Except for Thom and Cung’s off-days, when they like to hang out with Matt while he is on the clock at G2K Games.
The Hooligans Forever
All things considered, the guys live a fun life. Always something going on, always weird items in the shop to mess with, and always some new friends to be made!
This is why Thom and Cung do what they do, why they started making cartoons in the first place. The material just writes itself!
Wanna see what they can do? ———-> “Cartoon,” Ron’s Pawn
Stay tuned for more Ron’s Pawn action in the future! We know we will…
